In the various masses, a young woman’s broad smile emerges from behind the piano. Josma stands out for her openness, cheerfulness and enthusiasm. As the newest member of the team, she is responsible for the next generation of worship leaders. In addition to a musical talent and a moving singing voice, she is also characterized by a deep relationship with God and an impressive faith story. In this story, Josma tells us how she found her way from India via Oman and Germany to our church in Vienna, where she enriches us as a Music Ministry leader.
„The World is such a diverse place!“
Josma was born into a Catholic family in Mangalore, India. Her family belonged to the 2% of people in India who were Christians.
“Spirituality is very important in India, so a religious or spiritual life is not unusual. However, I went to church because my family went to church. I also had a good church life there, was in the choir and was even an altar server. I was connected to the Church because it was a matter of course.”
At the age of 7, Josma moved to Oman and went to an Indian school, where she learned Arabic in addition to her first language, English. The cultural differences between India and Oman, the new everyday life, presented her with a challenge. “I was overwhelmed at the time and often didn’t know how to find my way around,” but looking back, she sees the move not only as a burden, but also as a gift: ”Despite the pain that this change of location brought with it, I am grateful for the experiences today. They have made me the person I am today. I can marvel at the fact that the world is so diverse!”
Josma returned to India at the age of 18 and studied engineering. After finishing school, she was faced with the choice of studying music with a focus on piano or a technical degree. She opted for the supposedly safer option – engineering. “This career is typical in India. My parents have always been very supportive of my musical development. It’s thanks to them that I can express myself through music today,” she says. In her family, music was seen as a beautiful gift, but not as a serious career prospect. “At 18, I had little clarity myself about what I really wanted. So I just went down this path.”
Josma did not have a personal relationship with God in her youth. “I often felt out of place and somehow unwanted,” she says. The frequent changes of location in her childhood and the fact that she was usually the youngest at school reinforced this feeling of disorientation.
“My parents loved me and supported me in many ways, but the way they sometimes showed their love was often difficult for me to understand – in some cases even painful. That always made me doubt whether they really loved me – and whether love even existed.”
When Josma left home to study, she turned away from her faith. “I felt empty and lost, but at the same time free for the first time – away from everything that had previously constrained me. God and the Church seemed like a waste of time to me. I wanted to live life to the fullest and threw myself into a wild party life.“
“If you really exist, then now is a good time to intervene in my life.”
“I lived this life for four years. At some point I felt so empty that I turned my eyes to the sky and said ‚God, if you really exist, now would be the time to intervene in my life‘, because I had no more courage to live”.
The big change in Josma’s life then came during a 7-day retreat in Kerala, where she had a true “transcendent experience” during Eucharistic adoration.
“When I first saw all these people singing so joyfully at the retreat, I thought it was just a show – I didn’t know real joy myself. Then I knew: no matter what happens, I would never make spiritual music! On the fourth day of the retreat, during Eucharistic Adoration, the priest emphasized that Jesus was present in all the wounds and difficult moments of our past. Although I was skeptical at first, I opened myself up to his words. And suddenly all the memories that I had long repressed came flooding back – memories full of pain and loneliness. I was then able to feel inside that my tears had been absorbed. My greatest pain was always: I was suffering and no one saw it. At that moment, I was able to experience it: Christ sees me, Josma – and he loves me!“
To this day, this is the most beautiful experience of my life, even if it was difficult to understand at first that Jesus could love me when I could not love myself. This experience awakened in me a curiosity about the person of Jesus.
If this love stays with me, then I want to give you my life and my talents.
As I began to consciously take time to get to know Jesus, I realized that wounds within me began to heal. I was able to forgive my parents and love them in a way that I didn’t know existed. Gradually, I felt an inner strength and a new joy of living – something that wasn’t there before. I was able to give myself more, so I told Jesus: If this love stays with me, I want to give you my life and my talents.”
In 2020, Josma began studying theology in Germany, and then came to Austria in 2023 to continue her studies here.
“I want to write you a song explaining how I feel instead of telling you this”.
Josma at work.
“As Music Ministry Lead, I want to accompany our musicians on their musical journey. I want to support them in developing their potential and their strengths. I want our team to create a place where people can encounter God – a space where they can be touched by God, show themselves vulnerable to Him who loves us all unconditionally, cry and express themselves freely. Music has the power to create an atmosphere in which the heart can open up and the love of Christ can be received. Because ultimately, that’s all we need: the certainty that we are loved, no matter how difficult life may be – just as I experienced it then and can experience it again and again.”
